Thursday, February 11, 2010

Question to ask doctor - do not forget!

What is it that I am hitting when I take my shoot that makes my muscle twitch? A tendon? Nerves? Is it ok to do?

Last night's shot was taken a bit later than usual so I followed it up with two Tylenol PM so I didn't wake up earlier than I had to. As I shoved the lil guy in, the muscle tremored inside my leg and it almost made me loosen my grip on the syringe. This has happened once before. Very odd sensation for sure!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Growing Pains

Ok, what's the deal? Not sure if it's MS related or what - but I've been in a bit of pain lately. Sharp pains in my neck here and there, my left knee cap is all tight again - it almost feels like... the cold part of Bengay mixed with the dullest discomfort. Shoulders are tight - but that's normal for me. There was sometime when my tight thigh, in the middle was throbbing... but that went away quickly. Then the weird sight things... every once in awhile, so a split second I feel dizzy and have to blink a few times just to re-adjust. But I don't know hat that means. I just might be tired... oh yes, tired! I'm tired ALL THE TIME. I feel like you just talk yourself into fitting symptoms and I'm hoping that's what I'm doing.

Mind over matter!

I do have to go to my Neurologist soon - I should have went in January but I think that means another MRI and that's a $500 deductible and I just finished paying off last years MRIs and Chiropractor visits (when I thought... I mean hoped it wasn't MS - that was a waste, huh?). It's all follow up and I do need my liver tested... I guess the story goes that my meds, Avonex, can affect my liver - as can the aspirin I take to cover the side effects, AS can the drinks I have to accompany the aspirin that I use to cover my meds side effects. Woo whee. If I even have a liver I'll be excited! I'll call my doctor soon... after taxes perhaps? That's a whole other story... sigh*

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

6 Months Today!

So today with a glass of wine and my shot... of course, its Wednesday! I "celebrate" my 6 month anniversary with the official diagnoses of MS. But always with life you take the good and the bad and figure out the way to make the good outweigh the rest, even it its with a little fudging of the numbers.

Where am I? I have had slight symptoms return... every once in awhile I have a tingle here or there but no "flare ups" as they call them. Besides the physical, I think I may be feeling more of the fatigue than anything else and it's kind of hard to keep on task, but that's not all that bad.

Lately I'm almost feeling guilty for spreading the news and participating and advertising the local MS walk in my area in May. It is something directly affecting me, but that's not to say there aren't a million things more important to worry about for the world or anyone else personally. I think of a ton of them everyday. Each of those days the world is disappointing, scary, sad... so I look at it like this: there are still hundreds of thousands of people (officially diagnosed) with MS. So even if my small contribution to caring is somewhat selfish - its still a contribution nonetheless.

In my head I feel 100% fine and my biggest fear is returning to where I was during my most disabled moments. Fearing that I couldn't cross the street faster than the car coming towards me - despite the fact its a block away, unable to stand during a concert - wavering against the chair I should have just sat in and left the tears for something more deserving, unable to feel my leg or my chest - like Novocaine shot directly into my nervous system... I've always hated the dentist. I've got it better than many and I treasure every day, wherever the gift has come from.

One thing that has helped is the supportive words from close and distant friends. Sharing my situation seems to be another selfish act, but kind words go a long way. For anyone that has taken a moment out to give me your thoughts - thank you. Your words do not come without returned emotions. And anytime you need me, I am there.

With all of life's trials and tribulations you take them as they come and since I am fine at the moment these worries are left for the birds! Take that! My worries are left for bills and busy days... headaches and commitments... life is life. I am living it... and with the inspiring words I've read today from a friend... "If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it," I bid you adieu.